In 1970 a priest asked us to give NFP instruction to a married couple. That couple came to our home in Salina KS. The only instruction book we had at that time was the Don and Helen Kanabay book, Sex, Fertility and the Catholic. Their “rhythm” instruction, as they called it, involved primarily temperatures with mucus and a glucose fertility tape. Below are some of the Kanabay quotes from their book.
“For those who are led to a road away from Christ by their contraceptive-minded mates, the response must be: ‘We have come this far together, but if you follow that path, you go alone.’ ”They then quote from Fr. D. F. Miller, CSSR, editor of Liguorian: “Large families have intrinsic values, but no priest, no relative, no doctor, no friend, has any right to dictate to married people in general as to how large a family they should have. Each married couple has its own problems, its own circumstances, its own freedom and responsibility. They have to weigh all the factors involved and should be respected for the decisions they make under God.” (page 18)
“Rhythm, not unlike sexual union itself, can be fairly easy at times, and at other times somewhat difficult. During periods of abstinence, you may find your ‘bell’ ringing. There are methods by which to quiet this unseemly cry for attention by your genitals, which will be discussed in a later chapter.”
They give two common objections to rhythm: too much bother and it doesn’t work. “It is true that rhythm takes time and attention. So does love between a man and a woman. Carelessness and thoughtlessness have no place in a marriage, nor in any of its aspects: the education of children, the expression of sexual love, or the development of true spiritual love of two human beings, united by God’s grace, and blessed, in His infinite wisdom, with the product of that love.” (page 23
“As you read this book, remember this: Rhythm works. But, like contraception, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, ignorance or neglect.” (page 23)
In discussing a positive attitude about abstinence, they quote frequently from Cardinal Suenens’ book, Love and Control. They attack many views on spontaneity including Mrs. Rosemary Reuther’s view that “rhythm is theologically meaningless.” Here is one of their many comments on spontaneity:
“We constantly hear the objection to rhythm that it is ‘making love by the calendar,’ and that it destroys spontaneity. Many modern men and women are trying frantically to wring something out of sex which doesn’t exist in nature—the bluebird of continuous titillation. Anyone who knows what constitutes a good marriage knows that by its nature it will keep getting better. Spontaneity is the kindergarten stage, and its role lessens with the maturing (not aging) of the marriage. Those who rely on spontaneity are cheating themselves and showing a short-sightedness that could be disastrous. They are not building anything between themselves, but relying upon a chemistry that can exist between total strangers (and frequently does) to guide their most personal physical intimacy.” (page 32)
Sex, Fertility and the Catholic by the Kanabays, the 1965 edition, is still available at Amazon. This book is a delightful read and offers support to those couples using natural family planning.
Sheila Kippley
www.NFPandmore.org