1. ABC World News this evening (1/17/10) showed a Haitian woman who had just delivered a baby. She and her friends complained that she had no milk for her baby. She was amply endowed and was not holding the baby. The big question is why in a poverty stricken area is not every mother breastfeeding. Why have not the relief organizations and missionaries promoted breastfeeding?
2. When a woman is menopausal, some couples think that any kind of sexual activity is a moral option. But menopause does not change the meaning of the marriage act.
A woman asks us:
I am no longer of child-bearing age,and I wanted to know if it was ok for me as a wife to perform oral sex on my husband? I am past menopause and some times it still causes me pain to have intercourse even when I use jellies and creams for dryness. I’m sorry for the embarressing question.
John responded:
I assume that by oral sex you meant your oral stimulation of your husband that brings him to ejaculation outside of your vagina. That is still masturbation and is immoral. While it no longer has the effect of contraception, it still destroys the symbolism of the marriage act, the mutual gift of self in the act of genital-genital union. In marriage we are given the right to engage in that act that of its very nature is oriented toward the procreation of children. So even if you are no longer capable of providing an egg, the marriage act is still oriented toward the procreation of children and the bonding of the spouses.
From a practical perspective, an ample amount of KY jelly can or should provide ample lubrication. Make sure that it is sufficiently applied and into the full area where you experience dryness.
If by “oral sex” you mean oral-genital stimulation to bring your husband to an erection sufficient for genital-genital intercourse, that is morally okay. In fact, it can be an act of charity if he is otherwise impotent.
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John F Kippley
Sex and the Marriage Covenant: A Basis for Morality (Ignatius)