Natural Family Planning International

About three months ago I was in New York and met an interesting lady from Bhutan.  Bhutan is located in the Himalaya Mountains sandwiched between India and China.  Because of my questions about breastfeeding in her country, she began to compare her country with the United States.  For example, here in the States women dress immodestly and think nothing of being nude in front of other women, i.e. when taking a shower, but in her country women dress modestly and would avoid undressing in front of other women.  On the other hand, mothers in her country nurse their babies everywhere, in all sorts of public places, unlike here in the States where public nursing is frowned upon. 
     I think you will find her experience fascinating as she was determined to nurse her children, whether at home or at the office.  She has agreed to share her story.  Here it is.  

“I am a 39 year old and mother of 3 children, now 20, 17 and 12.  My daughter was born premature in the year 1987.  My elder son was born in 1990 and the youngest son in 1996.   Although bottle feeding (formula) was becoming more readily available and more popular in Bhutan, I always wanted to breastfeed my children and I did.  My first child was born premature and I had a tough time breastfeeding her for the first 2 months.  I had to squeeze first into a cup and feed her with a tiny spoon.  At that time I never tried formula.  I was lucky for I was not working at that time.  I had full time for my baby and I could spend a lot of time in my effort to breastfeed her. The first two months I fed her by spoon until she reached the normal birth age of a pregnancy.  She could not suck properly until 2 months old.
     By the time my second child was born, I was working as a government employee.   Government employees were entitled to three months maternity leave and after the completion of that leave time, we (mothers) had to feed our children only during lunch time which was 1- 2 PM.  Keeping in mind how important my job was to me and how important my child was to me, I fulfilled both responsibilities and did not fail at either.  I would breastfeed my child before I left for work.  I worked hard to clear all my papers on my desk as fast as I could so I could run home to feed my baby.  I ran at least 3 times a day back and forth between my work and my baby.  
     It took me 15-20 minutes going and coming back. I needed at least 10 minutes to nurse my baby.  Every day I was gone for about one hour.   For example, my office hours were 9 am to 5 pm with a lunch break from 1 to 2 pm.  I ran home around 10:30 in the morning and was back around 11 am.   I took my lunch break from 12.30 pm to 1:30 pm. when I went home to feed my baby.   I made another visit to my baby at 3 pm. 
      I was always worried that someone would see me leaving and that an office memo would appear on the notice board stating that this was not allowed.  I was fortunate that my job responsibilities dealt with other offices.  If anyone saw me and asked questions, I was able to cover up this activity.  In fact my work involved other offices dealing with foreigners visiting Bhutan.  These offices were out of my work area and so it was always easy for me to make excuses.
     It was difficult but the difficulty was nothing compared to the excitement that you get from holding your baby and breast feeding.  The excitement of being a MOTHER may not be felt so deep inside if one does not breastfeed their children.
      My first child breastfed until age 3 when I became pregnant with my second child.  (We believed [erroneously] that breast milk spoils and is not healthy for children when you become pregnant.)  My second child breastfed until almost age 5 (until start of pre-primary school).  My third child breastfed until age 3.
     My culture is very conservative in many ways.  As a young girl or teenager, we do not wear anything that is too revealing or which would expose much skin.   However after becoming a mother, no matter where we were (i.e., in a bus, in a crowd or in a public area) we understood that our baby’s need to feed was immediate.  Being conservative was not as important when it came to breastfeeding.  Breastfeeding comes first.  Therefore, with my own experience of being a mother and breastfeeding my three children, I take breastfeeding as “MOST IMPORTANT”.  Breastfeeding helps our children to be healthier and good health is the most valuable wealth. My kids are very healthy now and I believe that is the result of BREASTFEEDING” (emphasis in original).

Mothers:  If you have an interesting breastfeeding story to share, I would love to hear from you.  I hope to share a story each day during World Breastfeeding Week beginning August 1, 2008.  Some mothers believe that breastfeeding is so important to their babies and breastfeeding means so much to them that these mothers make an extraordinary commitment to make it work, like the lady above.  Last year I blogged daily on the current breastfeeding research during World Breastfeeding Week. This year I would like to devote my daily blogs during this special Week to showing the dedication of mothers toward their breastfed babies.  Please share at:  nfpandmore@nfpandmore.org.  Thanks.

Sheila Kippley
NFP International
www.NFPandMore.org
Author: Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood and Natural Family Planning: The Question-Answer Book (e-book at this website)
 

In accord with the intent of World Breastfeeding Week (Aug. 1-7, 2007) to draw attention to the importance and values of breastfeeding, I submit the following:

“It is mother who cannot be replaced.” W. D. Virtue, Mother and Infant, 240.

What’s most important concerning breastfeeding?

I have spent hours writing and talking about the benefits of breastfeeding. We look forward to new research so we can relay the information on to others. We go to breastfeeding conferences and see several tables with pumps so mothers can have others offer their breast milk to the baby in their absence.

I will bring up a can of worms now. I have thought and thought about this question: If I had a choice between two mothers, which one would I want? Which one would you choose? Mother A pumps her milk and leaves the baby for 9 hours, 5 days a week. Mother B takes her baby everywhere with her, stays home, but uses formula. If you were a baby, would you want the breast milk in a bottle or would you want the mother?

I proposed this question last week to a priest who couldn’t be more pro-breastfeeding. His answer was: You know the answer to that. It’s the mother who is so important to the baby.

You look at Scripture and there was Mary and there was Martha. Mary chose the better part. With regard to mothering, a mother who chooses to stay with her baby, usually at home, has chosen the better part. Hopefully she has also chosen to breastfeed as well.

Message: Do all you can to stay with your baby. You, the mother, are the most important person to your baby. The beauty of breastfeeding is that it naturally provides the baby with frequent access and closeness to the mother.

This ends my daily blogs for NFP Week and World Breastfeeding Week. I hope some readers enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Sheila Kippley
NFP International
www.NFPandMore.org
Author: Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood (Sophia, 2005)
Natural Family Planning: The Question-Answer Book (e-book
at this website, 2005)

In accord with the intent of World Breastfeeding Week (Aug. 1-7, 2007) to draw attention to the importance and values of breastfeeding, I submit the following:

Breastfeeding Provides the Mother
For years I have stressed the importance of prolonged breastfeeding in relation to the importance of the presence of the mother to her child’s formation during the first three years of life. We have experts who have stressed the importance of the early years and that the child should have one consistent caregiver during that time. God has provided this care during the early years through the breastfeeding.

For emphasis on the importance of the early years in this blog, I have chosen to quote from W.D. Virtue’s work in Mother and Infant with his permission. The bold-face type and italics are the author’s.

“The maternal-infant bond is one of the most intense unions in each person’s life. The nursing mother is the best primary caretaker of the infant because of her connatural qualities relative to the infant. Breastfeeding insures that the mother will be in constant contact close by the infant day and night so there is affective touch and time for a one-to-one private tutorial in love. Through this prototypical relation the infant is initiated into fidelity and trust and enters the communion of persons. Thus, in keeping with what we said about affirmation, what matters is not simply what the mother does for the infant – for many people can ‘do’ things for the infant. What affirms the infant is the mother’s person in a relationship in which she is moved with love and joy and in an embodied way manifests this delight in the child who thereby feels he or she is good…. Nature has made woman most apt to be the primary caretaker and private tutor of love” (266-7).

“What holds society together is not merely external authority, laws or other social structures, but the interior capacity for love and trust among persons. The infant best grows in this capacity through the maternal-infant bond established through the one-to-one relation in the first three years. What holds society together is moral respect and trust among persons, and the foundation for this moral respect is in the maternal-infant bond whereby through empathy the mother evokes in the child a sense of good and evil. This moral foundation can be given in the fourth and fifth years of childhood because of the bond established in the first three years of life, whereby the child desires to do the good out of love for mother, in order to maintain their harmonious bond, and the child learns to avoid evil which disrupts bond with mother. True morality is based on a relationship to one loved; this is the proper final causality of moral ends as directed to persons and to God as our true end” (382-3).

“This interpretation of the facts of nature and psychology regarding human infant care leads to the conclusion that the child receives the best care and the needs of the child are put first when there is good mothering…To give the best care to the offspring requires full time mothering in the first three years of life”(383).

Message: Mothers, please do all you can to remain close to your little ones during their first three years of life. If work is a necessity, consider part-time work over full-time work or consider work that can be done at home. During normal day-to-day activities, take your baby with you.
Fathers, offer loving support to your wife and remain with your wife and family. Remember that according to David Blankenhorn of Fatherless America you are that “most significant other” to your children.
Parents, pray for each other and your children daily.

Sheila Kippley
NFP International
www.NFPandMore.org
Author: Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood (Sophia, 2005)
Natural Family Planning: The Question-Answer Book (e-book
at this website, 2005)