For a retreat sponsored by Presentation Ministries in early May, John was given the subject “Radiating Christ in our Parishes.” He did as requested, somewhat reluctantly. The talk was so well received that two couples wanted a copy to take to their pastor. The talk is only 35 minutes. I think many of our readers will enjoy this talk. Please listen to:
A Request: I am trying to convince a friend of mine about the worthiness of your “triple-strand” NFP program. She is a practicing Catholic, but has some concerns. I have tried to clear them up for her but if you could offer any assistance I would be very grateful. She believes that ecological breastfeeding is too difficult. She thinks many women simply would not be up for it. She also thinks that it lends itself to a contraceptive mentality. I told her that the natural spacing effect of EBF is *not* contraception, but if you could help me out at all to explain these things further I would appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time.
JOHN: I will take a stab at a response, and then Sheila will add her comments.
Ecological breastfeeding too difficult? We have heard from mothers who say they adopted eco-bf because they were lazy and wanted the easy way. Others say they have just drifted into eco-bf because they were simply following their maternal instincts and wanted to do things in a natural way. It is usually easier for a mother to take her baby with her than to make arrangements for a sitter and then wonder all the while how the baby is doing. It is certainly easier to care for a baby with markedly fewer health needs and doctor visits. It’s basically a matter of attitude. And, of course, if a mother finds that she cannot meet all the seven standards, she can make and needed adjustments. Dropping even one of the standards may bring on an earlier return of fertility, but that is certainly not the end of the world, and both mother and baby would continue to enjoy other benefits of long-term nursing. But the spacing benefit is a God-given gift and not to be discarded lightly.
Contraceptive mentality? If a mother has a contraceptive mentality, she certainly will not do ecological breastfeeding. Ecological breastfeeding leaves too much up to God. The person who has a truly contraceptive mentality will put that mindset into action by using some sort of contraceptive behavior. Pope Paul described these in Humanae Vitae as follows:
“Unlawful Birth Control Methods
14. Therefore We base Our words on the first principles of a human and Christian doctrine of marriage when We are obliged once more to declare that the direct interruption of the generative process already begun and, above all, all direct abortion, even for therapeutic reasons, are to be absolutely excluded as lawful means of regulating the number of children. (14) Equally to be condemned, as the magisterium of the Church has affirmed on many occasions, is direct sterilization, whether of the man or of the woman, whether permanent or temporary. (15) Similarly excluded is any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—–whether as an end or as a means.” (16)
To those behaviors we need to add masturbation and marital sodomy. And it needs to be said that none of H.V. #14 applies to any act of breastfeeding or to the process of breastfeeding according to natural norms stated in the Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding.
Back to ecological breastfeeding and its normal spacing effects– the spacing effect is the normal effect of breastfeeding according to nature’s norms. God is the one who made woman so that her self-giving in breastfeeding and baby care normally postpones the return of fertility. God is also the one who made the breastfeeding woman in such a way that her gut makes antibodies to fight the bugs the baby picks up here and there. And that is true of all the other health and psychological benefits. It is not only not bad, but it is good to hope for any and all of these benefits. After all, they are His gifts. God does know what He is doing. I hope you and your friend find this helpful. Thanks for asking. John F. Kippley
SHEILA: I would encourage her to read Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood since she will learn much more about God’s plan for mother and baby plus its benefits associated with extended breastfeeding. If she is still open, then The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding will give her the support and the research.
The pregnant and breastfeeding mother are very similar. Both mother and baby are one biological unit during pregnancy and during breastfeeding. With breastfeeding, the baby has merely changed positions. There is a natural oneness present as God designed. Wherever mother goes, baby goes. This is not my own thinking but has been stated even by the World Health Organization which states:
“Mothers and babies form an inseparable biological and social unit; the health and nutrition of one group cannot be divorced from the health and nutrition of the other.”
A mother does not have a contraceptive mentality during pregnancy nor during breastfeeding. In fact, you cannot force a baby to nurse. Nor can you shorten your pregnancy in order to have another baby sooner. God has reasons for the health of the baby and the mother for having a pregnancy last 9 months and for having a natural infertile time with breastfeeding. God knew it was best for the mother and baby to have some natural spacing between births.
Thanks for promoting natural child spacing. Sheila Kippley (Both breastfeeding books mentioned above are available in print or as e-books. The NFPI manual is also available as an e-book.)
No one can control how a woman feels about an early return of fertility or, for that matter, a surprise pregnancy. All we can do is to make sure that the subject is adequately taught. The duration of breastfeeding amenorrhea among American mothers following the Seven Standards of ecological breastfeeding seems to follow a normal curve with about 7% having a period in the first six months, about 50 percent in amenorrhea at 14.5 months, and 33% still in amenorrhea at 18 months. Ordinary people can understand this once it has been clearly taught, just as ordinary people can understand that a 99% level of effectiveness is not the same as 100% effectiveness.
Sheila did not invent the reality of ecological breastfeeding. She simply stood on the shoulders of many who had reported their studies of breastfeeding amenorrhea, and she gave it an identity. Her great contribution was to look at the various research reports from the perspective of a nursing mom and wonder if and to what extent maternal behaviors influence the duration of amenorrhea. She developed a hypothesis, conducted a survey, and published the bases for the Seven Standards.
The point is this: The only reason to include breastfeeding in a course on natural family planning is because the right kind of breastfeeding—–ecological breastfeeding—–does act as a natural baby spacer. This is the way God made women, and every woman and every couple have a God-given right to know this part of God’s plan for self-giving love, marriage, and baby-care.
It also needs to be said that it is not morally wrong to choose to do ecological breastfeeding (EBF) in order to experience the side effect of delayed fertility. That may not be the highest reason for choosing EBF, and most couples who choose EBF for that reason soon have to focus on the total welfare of the baby in order to persevere. The natural spacing is, however, a God-designed effect, a good thing, and it is morally good to hope to experience it.
Home Study Course: This course was required for an engaged couple by a priest in the diocese of Orange, California. After finishing the written part of the course via email this month, the couple was asked: “On a scale of 1(least) to 10, what is the likelihood that you will promote NFP among your family and friends?” They responded: “10. Can we say 11? :)” This couple was quite pleased with all they had learned. We hope more priests will help their engaged couples by recommending the NFPI home study course for marriage preparation. It’s one of the cheapest programs, but it offers way more options and information than almost all other programs in the United States.
John F. Kippley
www.NFPandmore.org