Natural Family Planning International

Andrew Payton Thomas in his book, Crime and the Sacking of America, believes that one of the reasons the crime rates are soaring is because both parents are joining the workforce.  In his words:

“The rise of daycare in modern America says some painful things about us as parents and as a nation and culture, things that are easier for adults to leave unsaid.  But the truth is always worth telling, and it is this:  Many American parents today simply do not wish to raise their own children.  Indeed, never before in history have a people become so intensely individualistic that their love for their children can be purchased so cheaply… Children are taught, literally from the cradle, that life is looking out for #1.”

Gerald Campbell, head of The Impact Group, claimed at the Fellowship of Catholic Scholars Convention, September 20, 1997, that the #1 problem in our society is alienation, an emptiness, “an aloneness that cannot be tolerated by the human heart.”  What people really need in his estimation is love, understanding, mercy and compassion, and commitment from one person who learns to give of self “without any conditions or expectations whatsoever.”   He spoke of daycare as the ill of the future, and he stressed the value of a mother’s presence.

To prevent alienation in our society and to develop healthy individuals who feel loved and valued, good care by the mother for her child during the first three years of life is crucial.  What is so important about breastfeeding is that it usually gives babies the best nurturing and the best nutrition.   Prolonged lactation naturally provides those two realities that make such a positive difference!

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years

The oneness of mother and baby is important for society.  William Gairdner in his book, The War Against the Family, claims that there is unanimity on this important point:  “poorly attached children are sociopaths in the making.”  To avoid poorly attached children, the answer is good mothering.

Gairdner’s key words for good mothering are these: availability, responsiveness, and sensitivity. Mr. Gairdner pointed out that three separate research studies conducted at three different major universities all clearly showed that what babies and young children need is 1) mother’s availability, 2) mother’s sensitivity to her child’s signals, and 3) mother’s responsiveness to her child’s need for comfort and protection.  In other words, the mother has to be there, she has to read the signals of her baby, and she has to respond to her baby in a sensitive manner.

Gairdner also states in his book that “young children need an uninterrupted, intimate, and continuous connection with their mothers, especially in the very early months and years.”  With prolonged breastfeeding, the mother does have an uninterrupted and continuous relationship with her baby, and it’s an intimate relationship as well.

By the way, my husband got steamed enough to write a blog on Natural Family Planning and USCCB Litany.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years

In 2007, 10 years later after the 1997 studies, another study drew strong criticism from the two-working-parent families.  The National Institute of Child Health and Development’s  “Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development” followed 1300 children since 1991.  Their conclusion: keeping children in day care for a year or more increased the likelihood that they would later become disruptive in class.

That same year a bishop in Germany discouraged daycare for little ones under three years of age.  Bishop Walter Mixa of Augsburg, Germany reacted to the government proposal to expand day-care centers to allow for the care of 750,000 children under the age of 3.  He said it encourages mothers to rush back to work and discourages them from raising their own children.  “Nothing can substitute love and physical contact with the mother which the newborn needs.”  Another cardinal, Cardinal Joachim Meisner, came to Mixa’s defense, saying daycare should only be used as a necessity in an emergency or for exceptional situations.  (Catholic World Report, April 2007, page 15)

I’ll conclude with a quote from a couple who once provided full-time daycare for young children.  In their book, The Day Care Decision, they wrote about their experiences:

“Full-time day care, particularly group care, is especially harmful for children     under the age of three.  For two years we watched day care children in our preschool/day care center respond to the stresses of 8 to 10 hours a day of separation from their parents with tears, anger, withdrawal, or profound sadness, and we found, to our dismay, that nothing in our own affection and caring for these children would erase this sense of loss and abandonment.  We came to realize that the amount of separation—the number of hours a day spent away from the parents—is a critical factor.”  (William and Wendy Dreskin)

A mother’s care during the early years of a child’s life is not only important but crucial for that child’s optimal development. Unfortunately this topic does not get enough treatment in our society. Too often women are told they can have it all at once: motherhood and a career outside the home.  However, it is very difficult to do both well.

Pope John Paul II in The Gospel of Life praised mothers who dedicated themselves to the daily task of raising their own children.  Sacrifices by both mom and dad are often made so that the mother can remain with her baby and can keep up the breastfeeding.  Such a mother is giving her baby the best “head start” for her baby.  Besides the physical benefits to both, more importantly the mother and baby normally thrive emotionally as well.

A Happy Father’s Day to all dads and especially to Dr. Bill Sears from Chinese parents all over the world.

Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood
The Seven Standards of Ecological Breastfeeding
The Crucial First Three Years