If I have made any contribution to the theology of marriage, it is this concept: “Sexual intercourse is intended by God to be, at least implicitly, a renewal of the marriage covenant.” That is, there is a built-in meaning to the human sexual act that makes it different from similar anatomical acts among primates. Animals can “have sex,” but only human persons can engage in a marriage act, an act intended by God to renew their marriage covenant. The words, “at least implicitly,” indicate that it is not necessary for the spouses to have this on their minds. However, the possibility that spouses can consciously intend that their marriage act be a renewal of the faith and committed love of their wedding-day marriage covenant certainly shows that the marriage act is at a level of creation different from the similar anatomical acts of primates.
That concept helped Scott and Kimberly Hahn accept Catholic teaching on birth control when they were still Protestants, and Scott has told me that I am the first person to put that concept into writing. That’s hard to believe, but he is one of the best read people I have ever known, so I take his word for it. In 1981, I gave a copy of the book (that would later help the Hahns) to Pope St. John Paul II and to then-Msgr. Carlo Caffara at the John Paul II Institute in Rome. I was excited to see the Pope use that concept in his 1994 “Letter to Families.” That certainly gives it credibility. (The book that helped the Hahns is now available in an expanded edition titled Sex and the Marriage Covenant: A Basis for Morality, Ignatius, 2005.)
If we can help couples to see in a positive way the divinely built-in meaning of the marriage act, then it will be somewhat easier for them to understand Catholic teaching against forms of sexual intercourse that are definitely NOT a renewal of the marriage covenant. For example, all outside-of-marriage sexual actuation such as adultery, fornication, incest, rape, and sodomy. Within marriage, it is clear that the contraceptive behaviors say, “I take you for better but definitely NOT for the imagined worse of possible pregnancy.” The renewal concept clarifies why the same anatomical act is a serious evil before marriage but can be a serious good after the couple have committed marriage. It seems to me that this is so simple that every engaged and marry couple should learn it. In fact, I would say that it is so basic that every person has a RIGHT to know it. We believe that this should be taught to every couple in their preparation for marriage.
John F. Kippley
Sex and the Marriage Covenant